J. L. Lora writes about Love, bonds beyond blood, and living in the gray

Insecurity is the Bully Standing Over Your Shoulder Until You Shove It Back


Don't panic when you see a blank page. Relax, breathe, focus and write one word at a time.I have a bully and it’s called insecurity. It shows up anytime I set my mind on doing something new. It’s there when I want to start a weight loss regimen, have a work assignment, or start writing a new book.

When I open a blank document on Scrivener or Word, dread grips my gut. Has the virtual ink on the tip of my fingers dried? Maybe the universe orchestrated a kidnapping of my muse to send me a message—GIVE UP NOW—and my poor muse is tied up and buried in a hermetic box in the bottom of the ocean?

Doubts torture me as I face the white screen of death. Part of me knows this is all BS, but that part gets shoved back, beaten, and bruised by the bully of insecurity.

Will it ever end?

It can last for a while until a champion emerges. It can be a person, a quote, a song, or packaged hope from my muse who managed to free herself long enough to message me. Last time, she sent a dragon called Melandro (Amelia & Leandro) that breathed fire all over my insecurity bully. I shut out the world, the questions from others, and pounded Steel into my keyboard.

Stand up and tell the insecurity bully: NOT TODAY.

It isn’t always dramatic, though. I have to remember that I won’t always blow up through the walls of insecurity but I can  chip away at it until it collapses. Using the proven method: when the bully yells, don’t listen. Breathe, relax, focus, write one word after the next, and gather my tribe around me. Stand up and tell the insecurity bully: NOT TODAY.

So why am I writing about this? In case you need to hear this today…and because I need to hear it too.

 

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